booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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