You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
