If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
