I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We need to get me chipped asap
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
