your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
