My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
