U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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