i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
