Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
