But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
