You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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