how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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