I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
