No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
