Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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