Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
