I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
