I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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