Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't turn off my feet"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
