beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
