Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
