The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
