Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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