this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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