he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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