were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
