can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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