five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
