I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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