I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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