dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
