my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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