NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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