I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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