i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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