So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
