i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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