8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
