i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
