you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
