is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
