we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
