Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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