So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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