I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
