You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
