I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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