Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
