Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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