i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
sarcasm needs its own font
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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