Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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